This is a re-posting from a group I dearly love--but this is not a typical post for Carol, either. I hope it touches your heart.
One of THOSE Goodbyes
At first they were just another couple in the airport crowd. I hardly took notice of them. The next time they caught my eye though, something about it wasn’t quite right. I saw her leaning into his shoulder, heavily, almost as though he held her up while she pressed into his side, her face buried into his neck. That’s when I saw it. The military fatigues. Now I understood. This was one of those goodbyes.
The airlines allows families of departing soldiers to walk with them all the way to the gate. For all the security machinations we travelers endure–some of them seeming to border on the ridiculous, allowing this piece of humanity shows that the airlines sometimes gets it right.
She squeezes him tight one final time and lets him get into the boarding line. Then she waits. Wondering. Will he? Yes, he gives her one last turn-back-and-wave before disappearing into the tube that leads to the plane. As long as he might possibly turn back and see her, she holds herself upright. But the moment he is out of sight, I know it, because her shoulders drop and begin to heave. A large folded cloth comes out to press against her tears.
She moves quickly to the side and takes up a post at the massive glass window. From here she begins the stare, locking her gaze on the plane that will take away this man she clearly loves and carry him into harm’s way. In time, the accordion walls of the walkway fold up and the tube backs away from the plane. Suddenly she begins to pat her pockets. She fishes out a cell phone and starts texting. And receiving texts. Something makes her smile. Something makes her grow serious again.
A group of young men plop down behind me. It’s obvious from their chatter that they are recovering from days of golfing and more than a few hangovers. Good natured and occasionally off-colored ribbing is bandied back and forth. At another time, I’d have smiled at the fun they’ve clearly had. But today they seem immature…careless…even insensitive.
I sit and wait for my own boarding. In the meantime, the soldier’s plane has backed away and now inexplicably sits on the tarmac. It’s not moving. Neither is she. I’m not sure how she endures it. She is still standing, unwavering, occasionally texting, and staring at a plane that at this moment is holding her heart. Finally the pilots get the okay and the aircraft pulls away. She, as she must, watches till it’s gone. Finally, without fanfare, she turns to walk slowly from the terminal.
For the briefest of moments our eyes connect, but I look away instantly. I’m embarrassed. I’ve intruded. I have just witnessed a depth of intimacy that outstrips all the pathetic R-rated versions in a thousand movies.
On this Memorial Day weekend, when you have your barbeques, you gather with friends and you eventually say good bye when it’s over, breathe a quick little prayer of thanks that it’s not one of those goodbyes. And then, remember to say a fervant prayer for those for whom it is.
Carol Barnier
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Grading in a Bubble Bath
Thursday evenings are probably my least favorite all week. Why, you may ask? The first reason is that they are not Friday nights, but they're so close that nothing I can do to dress them up even makes a dent. The second reason is that they're my only over-night turn-around for school (so grading and grading and grading is usually the theme for the night). Add to that the amazing amount of sleep I haven't had this week, and there are the makings of a very grouchy, tired, and *not fit for human company* me.
Enter my *Secret Sib* At Veritas, we do a staff-wide trade of names, and it's our job to encourage and treat the name we draw. I like to DO this: it's anonymous and caring and can be very fun. It can also be timely: like today. Today was the kind of day when things don't necessarily go all wrong, but nothing seems to go just right either. Too many students with excuses rather than homework, an achy-lupus day when going up the stairs made me want to cry, colleagues with projects laid out in weird places, too many non-VCA people in our building (maintenance and such), and then a water-interruption that meant taking a long break so we could all go across the pond and use a restroom.
At the end of this very long, not-so-lovely day, there was this pretty bag with my name on it. Inside this pretty bag was a new journal, a nice note, a small bar of ocean breeze soap, and an ocean breeze fizzy ball for the bath. Now, I cannot tell you the last time I actually took a long, hot bath--but there is definitely one in my near future. . . maybe I'll take the seventh graders' drafts in there and make this Thursday night a little bit better . . . :)
Enter my *Secret Sib* At Veritas, we do a staff-wide trade of names, and it's our job to encourage and treat the name we draw. I like to DO this: it's anonymous and caring and can be very fun. It can also be timely: like today. Today was the kind of day when things don't necessarily go all wrong, but nothing seems to go just right either. Too many students with excuses rather than homework, an achy-lupus day when going up the stairs made me want to cry, colleagues with projects laid out in weird places, too many non-VCA people in our building (maintenance and such), and then a water-interruption that meant taking a long break so we could all go across the pond and use a restroom.
At the end of this very long, not-so-lovely day, there was this pretty bag with my name on it. Inside this pretty bag was a new journal, a nice note, a small bar of ocean breeze soap, and an ocean breeze fizzy ball for the bath. Now, I cannot tell you the last time I actually took a long, hot bath--but there is definitely one in my near future. . . maybe I'll take the seventh graders' drafts in there and make this Thursday night a little bit better . . . :)
Sunday, October 30, 2011
No excuses
It's been longer than I'd planned, but life gets in the way sometimes. Tonight is also later than I wanted to be awake--so I went to bed (last night at about midnight).
Today is a new day--one that God has given to me--so let's see what the day brings.
"Choose a life that gives you more time to do what you love, friends who share your interests, and peace of mind for your future." I saw this on one of the many blogs I try to read regularly (it was unattributed there, too), and I have to say, it sounds idyllic: a life where the present and the future are to my liking . . . but that's not what God has called us to, is it? We are called to "glorify God and enjoy Him forever." He has promised us that all we go through will be for our Good and His glory. So there are things in our lives that are not fun or even interesting, but they are necessary for our Good (our sanctification IS our Good).
Take last week, for example: I had the flu and missed three days of work, still had to plan my classes (and in much more detail than I would normally need, so that my sub could follow along and get my students what they needed), and then had to do all the normal grading and prepping to be ready for this week. If the "choose a life" were true, I could have spent last week healthy, with loads of energy, and even had time to make new cards and spend time with friends . . .
I don't pretend to understand why some things are allowed into my life (the random virus, the *difficult* student, etc.), but they are all there because God is using (or will use) them to grow me in grace and in my dependence on Him. Do I *like* all these things? Not really. Am I always happy and willing to endure them? Not exactly. Do I trust that God will use them for good? Absolutely. Even the horrific things and the wonderful things will be used for His glory and my Good.
Take my lupus, for example: I was diagnosed in 1990--the docs said my prognosis was seven to ten years. They were obviously a bit off on that one! But God has used the limitations it imposes on me to bring people into my life that have been huge blessings to me. Because I have rather limited amounts of energy, I have to ask for help in many things (not exactly in my normal personality: I like to help, not BE helped). Asking for help is hard, but letting someone else get the joy of being helpful--priceless. :) Having to budget my energy and my time (and be careful about germs and such) has made me be more open with friends and colleagues--and allowed them to be more open with me in return. So we all build community, and that's a huge step in the direction of Unity.
I definitely don't have it all figured out. I'm still growing and working toward maturity in Christ (and a lot of other things). I have joy in the journey, though, and that's a lot to be thankful for. :)
Today is a new day--one that God has given to me--so let's see what the day brings.
"Choose a life that gives you more time to do what you love, friends who share your interests, and peace of mind for your future." I saw this on one of the many blogs I try to read regularly (it was unattributed there, too), and I have to say, it sounds idyllic: a life where the present and the future are to my liking . . . but that's not what God has called us to, is it? We are called to "glorify God and enjoy Him forever." He has promised us that all we go through will be for our Good and His glory. So there are things in our lives that are not fun or even interesting, but they are necessary for our Good (our sanctification IS our Good).
Take last week, for example: I had the flu and missed three days of work, still had to plan my classes (and in much more detail than I would normally need, so that my sub could follow along and get my students what they needed), and then had to do all the normal grading and prepping to be ready for this week. If the "choose a life" were true, I could have spent last week healthy, with loads of energy, and even had time to make new cards and spend time with friends . . .
I don't pretend to understand why some things are allowed into my life (the random virus, the *difficult* student, etc.), but they are all there because God is using (or will use) them to grow me in grace and in my dependence on Him. Do I *like* all these things? Not really. Am I always happy and willing to endure them? Not exactly. Do I trust that God will use them for good? Absolutely. Even the horrific things and the wonderful things will be used for His glory and my Good.
Take my lupus, for example: I was diagnosed in 1990--the docs said my prognosis was seven to ten years. They were obviously a bit off on that one! But God has used the limitations it imposes on me to bring people into my life that have been huge blessings to me. Because I have rather limited amounts of energy, I have to ask for help in many things (not exactly in my normal personality: I like to help, not BE helped). Asking for help is hard, but letting someone else get the joy of being helpful--priceless. :) Having to budget my energy and my time (and be careful about germs and such) has made me be more open with friends and colleagues--and allowed them to be more open with me in return. So we all build community, and that's a huge step in the direction of Unity.
I definitely don't have it all figured out. I'm still growing and working toward maturity in Christ (and a lot of other things). I have joy in the journey, though, and that's a lot to be thankful for. :)
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Living Out My Own Advice
Well, here I am, back in the Blogging world. I have encouraged my students to write more often, to share what they write, and to be an encouragement to others to write. I need to live out my own advice, or what am I? So, this will be my encouragement and my *mark*--for a while at least. I want to share thoughts and ideas and natural-living and paper-crafting stuff, but also life and love and a bit of insight (whenever that happens).
I am also on Twitter (@sandykaydolan) and facebook, so if you're interested, you can find me there.
Today is a big-hairy-lupus day, and since all my grades for VCA are due tomorrow by nine, I am grading and sleeping by turns to try to get this all done and still be able to go to Parent-Teacher conferences and UCO tomorrow (and more P-T conferences on Tuesday). You can pray for me :)
My most-pressing thought today is how to manage my health issues and still give my best to my (very diverse group of) students. I don't want to be one of those *teachers* who use yellowed and cracking notes for their classes because they can't be bothered to renew their own minds or tailor their work for a new group of students. But I can't begin to get the rest I need if I'm constantly re-making every piece of my plans and curriculum. Finding the balance has been hard. Staying on top of my grading takes time, as does preparing lesson plans and doing the reading, so figuring out what technology to use to enhance each day takes a back seat. I'd like to have a series of visual for my history classes (Ancient Wonders, city-scapes, and portraits would be so helpful for my visual learners. A few recordings of music from the ages would enhance the experience for the auditories, and some hands-on texts: replicas of various touchstone books (like something in Sanskrit and Cuneiform, and Hieroglyphics . . . (you get the picture). Again, time and energy (and production during class) get in the way. I do have a few amazing picture-books to share, so that makes me feel a little better about what I have for my students :)
I'm going through Kathleen Nielson's Bible Study on Isaiah, so that will come up here quite a bit. If you haven't seen or used her workbooks, I highly recommend them. They are a good balance of background and insight, and they work best when you have someone to process them with (I have used them in formal Bible Studies in the past, and they have been excellent for discussion).
There will also be quite a bit of talk here about card-making and other paper crafts because I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator. I LOVE to make and send cards, so this is my fun-creative outlet. Next weekend is our annual *Holiday Hoopla* so I might even have some pictures to share (IF I get that part figured out) :)
I'm also working on remaking my diet and the way I approach the world to be more natural, healthy, and purposeful. I love to cook, garden, and find ways to re-use things. I follow quite a few blogs for this, so you'll probably see some of that here in days to come.
Well, I hope this whets your interest a little, and I hope you will follow and comment here as often as you can. I would LIVE for this to be a virtual conversation.
grace and peace,
:)
sd
I am also on Twitter (@sandykaydolan) and facebook, so if you're interested, you can find me there.
Today is a big-hairy-lupus day, and since all my grades for VCA are due tomorrow by nine, I am grading and sleeping by turns to try to get this all done and still be able to go to Parent-Teacher conferences and UCO tomorrow (and more P-T conferences on Tuesday). You can pray for me :)
My most-pressing thought today is how to manage my health issues and still give my best to my (very diverse group of) students. I don't want to be one of those *teachers* who use yellowed and cracking notes for their classes because they can't be bothered to renew their own minds or tailor their work for a new group of students. But I can't begin to get the rest I need if I'm constantly re-making every piece of my plans and curriculum. Finding the balance has been hard. Staying on top of my grading takes time, as does preparing lesson plans and doing the reading, so figuring out what technology to use to enhance each day takes a back seat. I'd like to have a series of visual for my history classes (Ancient Wonders, city-scapes, and portraits would be so helpful for my visual learners. A few recordings of music from the ages would enhance the experience for the auditories, and some hands-on texts: replicas of various touchstone books (like something in Sanskrit and Cuneiform, and Hieroglyphics . . . (you get the picture). Again, time and energy (and production during class) get in the way. I do have a few amazing picture-books to share, so that makes me feel a little better about what I have for my students :)
I'm going through Kathleen Nielson's Bible Study on Isaiah, so that will come up here quite a bit. If you haven't seen or used her workbooks, I highly recommend them. They are a good balance of background and insight, and they work best when you have someone to process them with (I have used them in formal Bible Studies in the past, and they have been excellent for discussion).
There will also be quite a bit of talk here about card-making and other paper crafts because I am a Stampin' Up! demonstrator. I LOVE to make and send cards, so this is my fun-creative outlet. Next weekend is our annual *Holiday Hoopla* so I might even have some pictures to share (IF I get that part figured out) :)
I'm also working on remaking my diet and the way I approach the world to be more natural, healthy, and purposeful. I love to cook, garden, and find ways to re-use things. I follow quite a few blogs for this, so you'll probably see some of that here in days to come.
Well, I hope this whets your interest a little, and I hope you will follow and comment here as often as you can. I would LIVE for this to be a virtual conversation.
grace and peace,
:)
sd
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)